I often have difficulty meditating on the Passion. I don’t know if it’s a psychological thing where I can’t bear to reflect on the pain and torture that Jesus endured, or a pride thing where I believe I’d never be one in the crowd to yell, “Crucify Him!”. It’s difficult for me to connect with; almost a story that I’m not engaged in. I want to enter Holy Week and offer authentic worship as my Jesus is bruised, broken, and crucified for me. God knows my heart and my desire to do so; I just need His help.

This morning, the Holy Spirit provided a simple fact that will change everything for me.

If you’re like me, maybe the quote below from St. John Henry Newman will help you enter more deeply into this Holy Week. I believe my Good Friday will be different this year.

Think of this and consider whether with this thought you can read the last chapters of the four Gospels without fear and trembling.

For instance, “When He had said this, one of the officers standing by struck Jesus with his hand, saying ‘Is that how you answer the high priest?'” (John 18:22).

The words must be said:
That officer lifted up his hand against God the Son. This is not a figurative way of speaking, a rhetorical form of words, or a harsh, extreme, and unadvisable statement. It is a literal and simple truth. It is a great Catholic doctrine.

St. John Henry Newman

After reading Newman’s quote from, “The Tears of Christ – Meditations on Lent”, I had two thoughts:

First: Someone actually slapped God… the One who created them, the One who loved them, the One who allowed Himself to be slapped by this person… and many others who would also strip, scourge, mock, whip, spit at, crown with thorns, and crucify.

Second: God didn’t raise His hand in self-defense or attack. I know this second point might seem obvious since we all know that this was the purpose for which Jesus came – in order that we might be saved. But the more I reflect upon His quiet humility and self-control, the more I realize how little I often show restraint.

About 20 years ago I took karate lessons with the hubby and our youngest daughter. One day, we were learning how to spar.

I hated this part because I bruise easily and don’t like to get hurt (call it self preservation; also, I’m a wuss).

It was my turn on the matt and my opponent was one of the kids – I’ll call him Ike – was in my CCD class. Our families were good friends; he was an awesome kid. He was also a red belt (one below black) and I was a yellow belt (one above white). We were from two ends of the spectrum. But, this was a learning experience; you never know who you might have to defend yourself against.

Ike and I entered the center and bowed. Before I knew what hit me, he did.

Ike did a roundhouse kick to my chesticles. He totally caught me off guard… actually, he took both of us off guard as he meant to kick my arm or someplace less ‘personal’.

We both took a step back to assess. I don’t know what got into me; I simply looked up and said, “you’re mine”. Then, gave him a ‘mom’ look as I pulled my arm back to throw a punch. I may have been lunging toward him. Everything was a blur. He ran off the matt.

It was the first time I ever won a match. So… there’s that.

[Disclaimer: No child or youth was hit. He retreated too fast. Don’t @ me with CPS.]

Reflecting on the match – once I was hit the adrenaline took over. It happened so quickly. It was an uncontrolled, thoughtless reaction; certainly not the tactic of an experienced martial artist.

It certainly wasn’t what Jesus did.

At 50+ I would probably act differently. Actually, I’d never get on the matt in the first place. And honestly, none of us can ever say how we would react if we were in Jesus’ sandals. We’re not the Savior; crucifixion won’t be in our cards. The closest we can hope for is martyrdom or a simple holy death.

In the meantime, we can have a deeper understanding of the humility of Jesus in the face of human weakness and the ugliness of a fallen society.

Moving forward, training will no longer involve sparring and matches, replaced by prayerful requests for an exponential increase in self control along with the practice of humility.

Let’s make a firm resolve to end this God slapping, lest we be the ones running off the matt into spiritual death.

Please pray for me this Holy Week as I pray for you!