Interview with a Youth Minister

[disclaimer: this is a conversation in my head made up of several actual conversations through my time in youth ministry.]

Me to Youth Minister:  I can’t find your youth ministry accounts on social media.  What are your usernames?

   Youth Minister:  We don’t do the Facebook or Instagram. I don’t Twitter.  And, Snapchat is satanic.

Me:

   Youth Minister:  Social Media is not healthy for kids.

Me:  Who hired you?

   Youth Minister:  The pastor.  He agrees with me.

Me:  He has a flip-phone

   Youth Minister:  Well, the parish has a policy against social media.

Me:  Ummm, how can they possibly have a policy against something they’ve never tried?

   Youth Minister:  The secretary said, “…

Me:  Stop.

   Youth Minister: 

Me:  The secretary is an 80 year old who thinks the fax machine is the new black and comic sans is cool.

   Youth Minister:  What’s wrong with comic sans.

Me:  “Friends don’t let friends….” Never mind.

   Youth Minister:  And, actually, she does use social media.

Me:  The secretary?  You mean she binges funny cat videos on YouTube.

   Youth Minister:  I’ve used those cat videos at youth group.

Me:  You what.

   Youth Minister:  Ya, so you see I’m not totally against using social media with the kids.

Me:  Don’t do that.

   Youth Minister:  The kids like it.

Me:  No they don’t.

   Youth Minister:  Then why did they laugh so hard when I showed them the Charlie video.  It was so funny. You really need to watch it.

Me:  I did.  In 2007.  Charlie’s brother is like 28 and married.

   Youth Minister:  Is he really?

Me:  I have no idea.  That’s not the point.  If you’re going to have a real impact you need to do better than showing “Charlie Bit My Finger”.  I hope there was at least some theological reflection with the video or that it was part of a catechetical context.

   Youth Minister:  I don’t know what you mean.

Me:

   Youth Minister:

Me:  Okay, let’s back up.  How do you communicate with your youth?

   Youth Minister:  Fli…

Me:  Do. Not. Say. Fliers.

   Youth Minister:

Me:  Seriously?  Fliers?  You are still using fliers?

   Youth Minister:  Yes, but we do use color ink.  It annoys the secretary, but I think it’s important enough for evangelization efforts.

Me:

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Pray for me as I pray for you and all those who minister to our young church.