Sometimes while surfing YouTube, I’ll come across an old song from a band I used to listen to and memories of the past come flooding in…

• Cheap Trick’s Surrender,
• Sweet’s Ballroom Blitz,
• really, anything by Fleetwood Mac.

Music has a way of setting a mood and giving voice to thoughts we often can’t seem to speak.

This morning I stumbled upon Green Day’s Boulevard of Broken Dreams.

Ya’, the stuff emo’s made of.

The first stanza really says it all:

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don’t know where it goes
But it’s home to me, and I walk alone

Since the song first debuted, the lyrics and melancholy tone have changed their meaning for me.

Years ago, I might wallow in a bag of Doritos and a bottle of wine while having the CD playing on a loop.

Today, I’m in a good place where I can listen to Green Day croon about loneliness and not allow myself to be drawn into depression and sadness.

Praise Jesus!

Now the lyrics are a reminder that God does not want us to walk alone. While we are unique individuals, we were not designed to live in solitary.

We we created for relationships, for family, for community.

The Rev. Kendall Palladino relates an encounter that he had with St. Mother Teresa back in 1994.

After a day of working with with her, he shared that he wanted to enter medical school and serve those with leprosy overseas. She just looked at him and asked why, then said:

“In the West there is a loneliness, which I call the leprosy of the West. In many ways, it is worse than our poor in Calcutta.”

[Article, The News-Times (Danbury, CT), 2004]

Sad, but so true.

A few years ago my therapist and I discussed how society has created a culture where 1 in 3 people has been diagnosed with depression and anxiety, caused by loneliness and isolation.

Mother Teresa was a prophet.

We often feel the need to be part of a subculture, a movement, a clique. Not only do we want to belong, we want to be known. There is a desire to be needed and be part of something bigger than ourselves. When we have made a connection with a particular group, we no longer feel isolated and alone in our journey… wherever that journey might lead.

It’s why we count our ‘likes’ on Instagram, check for upvotes on our Reddit comments, and use excessive hashtags on Twitter hoping for new #followers. Although social media has some major downsides (as does everything) it has made our world smaller and those plugged in feel less isolated.

The search for community is also the reason for the hook-up culture, swiping left and right, and hoping for that perfect bagel at noon. (I’ll leave that conversation for another post.)

When I was in my late teens and 20s, the desire to be known and part of a community led me to groups of friends who were neither healthy or actual friends. At the time, I thought they accepted me for me. In reality, they used me because I was the only one who had access to a vehicle.

This group checked the ‘community’ box but they were unhealthy relationships – physically and spiritually.

It took several years to break free from these friends because they fed my need to be known and wanted… even if it was just to get beer.

Looking back, with freedom came conversion (or reversion). When I hit rock bottom, my prayer became a cry for help, of repentance, and the desire to be loved authentically. God answered my prayers by removing desire to be part of this particular group.

But He didn’t stop there. The Lord began to heal the wounds which both drew me to that group and deepened because of the nature of those relationships.

This transformation took place over many years and with the help of countless incredible, loving, and patient people that God sent at different times in my life.

My story isn’t unique.

Some of the individuals who were instrumental in my healing had been through similar relationships and situations of their own.

Now, years later, I have found my tribe; a vibrant community of faithful men & women who help each other grow in holiness. Amazing folks who aren’t out to use me for my car.

I no longer walk Green Day’s lonely road.

I’m not alone.

And, I know exactly where this road leads. It is a narrow path leading to heart of the One who knows me better than myself.

I hope I meet you along the way.

Please pray for me as I pray for you!