As I continue out of hibernation there is often a lagging sense of fatigue.  A strange paradox to feel exhausted after many months being sequestered.  And, yet this is where I find myself.  It’s a good exhaustion; born of great healing through prayer, silence, and many encounters with the Lord.

This hibernation has been a cocoon of planning and preparation.  I do not know the final destination but I trust God in this journey; He is teaching me patience while I wait for next role in ministry.

Cocoons…  They are durable enough to hold and protect the developing creature and yet, when it is time, these temporary homes become fragile so that the transformed being can break free to begin life anew.  Although these little dwellings offer some safety, there are parasites and predators who are waiting to do harm and even devour the evolving inhabitant.

My own life is in such a transition; I sense my soul is undergoing a metamorphosis of sorts.

There are times when I feel invigorated and ready to begin something new, and then there are days that, if I am not careful, I am tempted into a lethargy.  I confess there have also been times that during prayer I’ve asked the Lord to take me home.  (COVID and a hostile election are great breeding grounds for such dreariness.)

My time was not wasted during this hibernation.  I invested in online classes on spirituality and prayer, recently completing the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius.  Learning how to rest in mental prayer has been the greatest blessing.  It has been in these moments where I have felt the Lord touch my soul in a way that I cannot explain… a rapture of sorts.  Afterward, I’m left exhausted but with a great sense of joy that I find inexpressible.

It is during these moments of exhaustion, along with the some bad moments of lethargy, that I am fully aware of spiritual parasites and predators; bad spirits who are ready to take advantage of my weakness.  Yet, I have never been fearful or sensed danger, but felt protected and cared for.

Recently, a viral video appeared in my social media feeds.  A videographer who specializes in shooting at Yellowstone National Park captured a moment that reminded me just how God cares and protects exhausted souls.

A baby bison was walking with its herd when he became too tired to go any further and lay down in the middle of the road.

Traffic was stopped in both directions as the herd of 7 or 8 adult bison circled around the little calf to protect it.  The mama can be seen nuzzling and tending to her little one while the other massive beasts kept watch.  (I’ll post a link below so you can watch it for yourself.)

Later during prayer the Holy Spirit grabbed my heart.  From my journal, this is what He said:

“I do this for you!  When you are weak, exhausted, and feel as if you cannot go on, I send My holy angels to watch over and minister to you just as I did for My Son in Gethsemane.”

God sends angels to watch over us, to protect us from the evil, and care for us when we are weak.  He does this for all of us, not just a chosen few!

Angels are the reason I do not feel alone.  These mighty warriors encircle my soul and fight on my behalf.  Oh, how I’ve taken their presence for granted.  What an unassuming gift!

As I continue to discern God’s plan moving forward, the cocoon is becoming more of a thin veil which I know will be lifted one day.  Until then, my interior life continues to develop and progress, sometimes with vigor and often leaving me weary.  In all, I thank the Lord for sending His angels to circle this humble soul.  I am so glad my herd doesn’t leave me.

Please pray for me as I pray for you!

[“When the Little One Stops – We All Stop. Bison Mom Protects Calf“]